“You said you'd be ready in five minutes and that was forty-seven minutes ago. I've aged. I've grown as a person. I've accepted death. And you're still doing your eyebrows.”
In publicApril 2, 2026128 votes
It gets worse
“Do not come at me about the credit card bill when you literally bought a boat last year because, and I quote, 'it spoke ...”
— My wife267 votes
“I married you for your personality. I stay for the health insurance.”
— My wife247 votes
“Let me get this straight. You forgot to pick up milk, which I texted you about three times with pictures, and your defen...”
— My wife234 votes
Bet you have one too.
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