“Do not come at me about the credit card bill when you literally bought a boat last year because, and I quote, 'it spoke to you.' A boat spoke to you, Derek. A boat.”
In the middle of an argumentApril 3, 2026267 votes
It gets worse
“I married you for your personality. I stay for the health insurance.”
— My wife247 votes
“Let me get this straight. You forgot to pick up milk, which I texted you about three times with pictures, and your defen...”
— My wife234 votes
“I told my therapist about you and she made a face. Like, a professional face. It wasn't good.”
— My girlfriend211 votes
Bet you have one too.
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