Dead serious

“I don't want to sound dramatic but if you load the dishwasher like that one more time I will perceive it as a declaration of war.”

“I'm not being passive aggressive. I'm being aggressive aggressive.”

“We don't need a budget, we need more money.”

“I'm adding this to the list. Yes, there's a list. No, you can't see it. Just know it's long.”

“You are the love of my life but if you touch the thermostat one more time we're going to have a real problem.”

“I asked him to plan date night and he suggested we go to the hardware store and then Wendy's.”

“I asked you to take out the trash two days ago. The trash is still there. But you reorganized your entire video game shelf. Interesting.”