While half asleep
11 quotes
“Babe. Babe. The giraffes don't have enough pillows. We need to help them.”
— My husband192 votes
“I can't sleep because my elbows are too loud.”
— My wife155 votes
“Can you turn off the moon? It's too bright and it's looking at me weird.”
— My partner136 votes
“I had a dream you ate my leftovers and honestly I woke up a little mad at you for real.”
— My girlfriend127 votes
“No, move the Wednesday. It's in the wrong place. Just slide it over.”
— My wife114 votes
“Sleep is just free trial death and I want the full version.”
— My husband102 votes
“Cheese is just milk that tried harder.”
— My boyfriend89 votes
“Tell the penguin I said thank you but the meeting is canceled.”
— My boyfriend87 votes
“You snore like a lawnmower with feelings.”
— My girlfriend81 votes
“Don't forget to water the wood. The wood is thirsty.”
— My husband69 votes
“Don't talk to me until the Tylenol kicks in. And also maybe not after.”
— My husband34 votes