Top This Week
The community's favorites from the past 7 days.
#1
“Do not come at me about the credit card bill when you literally bought a boat last year because, and I quote, 'it spoke to you.' A boat spoke to you, Derek. A boat.”
— My wifeIn the middle of an argument267 votes
#2
“I was going to let it go but then I thought about it for six hours and actually I have a few more points.”
— My wifeWhile I was trying to apologize178 votes
#3
“Are you apologizing or are you just making sounds?”
— My wifeWhile I was trying to apologize161 votes
#4
“I fell in love with your potential and I'm still waiting.”
— My exIn front of my parents149 votes
#5
“I would die for you. But I would not share my fries for you.”
— My boyfriendDuring dinner143 votes
#6
“I'm not saying I'm always right. But I've never been wrong in front of witnesses.”
— My husbandIn front of my parents140 votes
#7
“I'm adding this to the list. Yes, there's a list. No, you can't see it. Just know it's long.”
— My wifeDead serious133 votes
#8
“I'm going to need you to lower your voice because my rage can only handle one volume at a time.”
— My partnerIn the middle of an argument125 votes
#9
“You made this dinner? On purpose? With ingredients?”
— My exDuring dinner122 votes
#10
“I love you. Not right now. But in general.”
— My husbandWhile I was trying to apologize115 votes
#11
“Please don't take this the wrong way but everything you just said was the wrong way.”
— My fianceDuring a serious conversation110 votes
#12
“I saw the way that waitress smiled at you and I want you to know I could take her.”
— My girlfriendIn public108 votes
#13
“No. I heard you. I'm just choosing not to process it.”
— My partnerDuring a serious conversation104 votes
#14
“You know what your problem is? You think you're the main character. We're both the main character. It's an ensemble cast.”
— My fianceIn the middle of an argument101 votes
#15
“He asked me what I wanted for my birthday and then argued with my answer. Why did you ask.”
— My wifeIn front of my parents99 votes
#16
“I liked your opinion better when it was my opinion.”
— My wifeDuring a serious conversation97 votes
#17
“I didn't overcook it. I caramelized it aggressively.”
— My husbandDuring dinner93 votes
#18
“You have the emotional range of a USB cable.”
— My wifeIn couples therapy86 votes
#19
“I asked you to take out the trash two days ago. The trash is still there. But you reorganized your entire video game shelf. Interesting.”
— My spouseDead serious84 votes
#20
“You snore like a lawnmower with feelings.”
— My girlfriendWhile half asleep81 votes
#21
“This relationship is 50/50. You make the mess, I have the feelings about it.”
— My wifeCompletely unprompted75 votes
#22
“I support your dreams. I just wish your dreams included remembering to switch the laundry.”
— My wifeCompletely unprompted71 votes
#23
“I just want someone who looks at me the way you look at your phone when it's fully charged.”
— My girlfriendCompletely unprompted66 votes
#24
“You're lucky you're cute because your sense of direction is criminal.”
— My girlfriendWhile driving60 votes
#25
“Sure, you remembered our anniversary. Only because your phone told you. Romance isn't dead but it's on life support.”
— My wifeIn public56 votes
#26
“I don't have trust issues. I have 'you said you'd do the dishes and I came home to a science experiment' issues.”
— My spouseIn the middle of an argument49 votes